There are few things I appreciate more than someone who is so obviously and unapologetically themselves. An earmark of these people is they have a hint of edge to them. Perhaps more explicitly put, they have defined edges, plural. As if I could reach out and touch their personality. Like it has dimension and a tangible perimeter.
And because these people are human, and because humans are flawed, I'm magnetically drawn to ones who expose those areas rather than suppressing them. But this is a paradox because that exposure must be unconscious for it to be genuine. And few things spoil a personality quite like disingenuousness.
For instance, everyone's heard the consummate jackass say, "Hey, I'm just being honest." which, translated into the King's English, equates to "Hey, I'm just being a jackass". They're quick to opine about things that don't matter but rarely let you see what they actually think since they're too busy transparently going against the grain.
I'm instead talking about people who have opinions they openly share, but they express them differently than most. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I get the sense they're speaking from a place of sincerity and experience as opposed to the agenda-ridden NPCs who somehow simultaneously express their opinions loudly AND meekly, knowing in their heart there's no substance behind them.
It's not having conviction, exactly. Every asshole on the planet has conviction about their opinions. In fact, it must be in the handbook because apparently it's one of the cornerstones of being one. I think instead what I'm describing is what it means to be earnest. When you look into their eyes, you can actually see the person behind them. And when they say things I don't agree with, I'm inclined to reevaluate my stance on the matter instead of trying to change theirs.
There's a controlled chaos to the way they carry themselves as if they're prepared to make waves at any time and adapt to whatever consequences come. Their language is plain, and what they say makes logical sense. It's the opposite of what many people are forced to endure at work: corporate speak.
For all the fanfare around increasing communication in the workplace, you'll find no place on Earth less intelligible than a meeting with a group of people who frequently use corporate jargon. You can identify these meetings by the lack of tangibility of the language therein. It's all carbs and sugar. Bland. There's no protein. No spice. No flavor. No one wants to say what has to be said because they'll be perceived as rogue. Too harsh. Not a team player. People make mistakes, but you'd never know it to hear the way people talk in the conference room. Everything is weak-tittied platitudes. This is especially true if performance is low and things aren't going all that well. This is ironic because that's the time when it's critical to dig into what the real problems are. But if no one is willing to cut to the bone with unvarnished vocabulary, there's zero chance the problems can even be articulated let alone solved.
Having spent nearly half my life listening to people like this at work, maybe this is why I have such a high appreciation for people who not only speak like human beings but are also surgical with their words. These are the qualities of earnest people and those are the people I want as my friends. They may lack sugar sometimes but I'll always know where they stand.
Thank you for reading.
Watch of the week:
Van Neistat describes the duality of his mind - both lazy and driven - personified by two influential documentaries he watched while on a trip to Mexico:
I appreciate you all. Have a fantastic weekend.
-Tim