I want to examine the following scenario: I meet someone. Probably at work. This person is likable. They have a unique personality. We get along. We're easy acquaintances. In person, they are cordial, eloquent, thoughtful, and generous. I love that they exist in this world. The world needs more people like them. Online, however...this person is a goddamn clown. A troll. A bully. A shitposter.
Now what? Which is it? Are they upstanding citizens or human garbage?
They're both. And aren’t we all.
What do I do about this? Confront them? Tell them to be nicer? Ask them why they feel the need to be so aggressive online? No, what am I, stupid? I give up on the idea that anyone is who I think they are online. I look at how people treat other people to their faces to determine if they’re worth keeping around. That's it.
When I was in fourth grade I had two friends who didn't like each other. Let's call them Wayne and Garth. Wayne teased Garth, which naturally pissed him off, but then Garth told me he didn't want me hanging out with Wayne any more. What did this have to do with me? I didn't like the fact that Wayne made fun of Garth, but I didn't want to write him off completely. I asked the teacher for advice. She told me it was something I had to figure out on my own, and work it out between the three of us. "Goddammit", I thought to myself, except I was nine so it was probably more like "Fiddlesticks." I didn't understand how Wayne could be so nice to me but so mean to Garth, but it didn't matter.
Wayne had to go.